Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
