Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize