I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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