Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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