it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
