I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
