We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
