Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
