Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
