i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck appropriateness.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
