Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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