haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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