How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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