I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
