I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
