well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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