haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
