I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
