She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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