im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
