My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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