The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
