I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
