Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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