the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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