I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hippo gnu deer
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize