Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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