I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
