You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
