Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
