You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
