im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
