It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
