I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize