hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
