What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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