it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
