Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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