he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
