Midget sex pt 2 tonight
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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