i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
