Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
