woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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