We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
