I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
