do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
