Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the day after is always just damage control
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
