Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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