I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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