Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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