gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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