jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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