OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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