Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he thought i was a dude.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
