PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
