My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
