Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
