They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize