OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
