She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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