I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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