I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
