he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
