He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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