a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
