he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
